Regardless of the mentality that men and women are equal, we
as Christians must realize that regardless of what the world says, the bible is
very clear as to the qualities, characteristics, roles and responsibilities of
a godly man and a virtuous woman. When they are working together in harmony,
imagine how much glory God receives from the relationship.
We will notice today that there are certain proverbs and
commands that are given directly to the man and not the woman. Some of these
Proverbs, such as 7, are advice to men particularly because Satan loves to
tempt men in ways that he knows women usually are not tempted.
1. A Self-Controlled Man - It is a sad reality, but I
can say almost every woman I have ever met has had the experience of a man
cheating on her. By far, the number one quality of a godly man is not just
monogamy, but rather one who has his lusts under control. Cheating on a woman
may cause a woman to develop low self-esteem, although she may be beautiful.
The fact that you, the one whom she wants, thought someone else was more
beautiful can be devastating.
A man who does not have his lusts under control will expect
his mate to be his personal quick fix leaving the woman disappointed in more
ways than one because his lusts are out of control. This is why it is a great
idea for godly men to spend time in solitude without ANY interaction with a
woman because it trains the flesh to be under subjection to the Spirit.
In doing this, upon entering marriage, going without
intimacy, for whatever reason, will not be foreign to you. Remember in Genesis
2 that God had Adam all to himself and dwelt with Adam in the garden for quite
some time before He brought Eve to him.
2. Provider - Unless a man is in school of some sort
or building his business and the two partners have agreed that for a certain
time period, it is best that she be the monetary provider, the godly man is the
provider for his wife. I'm not proposing that he must make more money, but he
should at least be working a consistent job that has a future. There is nothing
more unattractive in society's eyes, a woman's eyes and God's eyes than a man
who sits at home all day and allows his woman to support him.
The scripture is clear when it says in 1 Timothy 5:8, that,
"A man who does not provide for his family is WORSE than an
unbeliever." Now that's bad!! In Genesis 2, we learn that before Eve was
brought to Adam he had two jobs. He was taking care of the crops (v. 15) and
naming animals (v. 19). Proverbs 12:11 says, "He who works his land will
have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment." Proverbs
14:23 says, "All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to
poverty."
These verses would not be in scripture if this wasn't
happening at the time. Men, even back then, talked a good game about what's
going to happen, but while they were "chasing fantasies" or just
being lazy (see Proverbs 6:6-11), they put their mate in the position of provider.
3. Communicator - 1 Peter 3:7 says, "Husbands,
dwell with your wives according to knowledge [understanding]"- Put this on
your screen saver to remind yourself of this verse! Wow! This wonderful verse
has so many deep truths. It commands godly men to "dwell" with their
mate because if you don't "dwell" with them, you cannot have the
"understanding". Most men are easy to figure out. We're simple.
Women on the other hand, are much more complex and therefore
Peter commands the men to "dwell" with our mates to gain
"understanding". Men and women have different needs. One need that a
woman must have satisfied is the need for communication. If she feels she
cannot communicate with her mate then she struggles to make contact in other
ways. The number one reason why marriages do not succeed is due to
communication problems.
I heard someone say that a woman is a walking marriage
manual because if you communicate, she will tell you what the problem is.
Notice that this command is given to the man because it is his responsibility
to make sure he communicates with his mate, it usually comes naturally to the
woman.
Sometimes communicating with your mate simply means being
quiet and letting them do the talking. Women need to express how their day
went, or how they feel. Often times they may get on the phone with their
girlfriends because the man is not interested in communicating with her.
Regardless of how financially secure, attractive or even spiritual the man is,
if he cannot dwell with his mate through communication to gain understanding,
the fire will burn out quickly. The Godly Man communicates with his mate daily.
4. Humble - A godly man is one who is willing to
learn from his mate. Women may have great ideas, but if their mate is a man who
feels he is always right and not willing to listen to reason or new ideas, new
ways to travel, new foods to eat, he is not humble. Meekness is not weakness
and a Godly man is strong, but humble.
Proverbs 12:15 says, "The way of a fool is right in his
own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise." Proverbs 13:10: carries the
same idea saying, "By pride comes nothing but strife, but with the
well-advised is wisdom." Proverbs 29:1 reads, "A man who remains
stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed" The scripture
says, "God opposes the proud".
5. Unselfish - Proverbs 3:27-28 says, "Do not
withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your
hand to do so. Do not say to your neighbor, go and come back and tomorrow I
will give it, when you have it with you!" Proverbs 11:24-25 reads,
"One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but
comes to poverty". Notice the word FREELY means without expecting ANYTHING
in return.
The man who is much more interested in pleasing his mate in
every way, according to God's word, will himself be refreshed. The more he
gives, the more he naturally gains in return without expecting it. Many people
have not caught on to the fact that when we are more concerned with the
satisfaction and happiness of others rather than our own, they will be
interested in your total satisfaction and it becomes a wonderful win-win
situation. The bible predicts in 2 Timothy 3:1-5 that there will come a time
when, "men will be lovers of self, lovers of money...without
self-control..."
6. Protector - 1 Peter 3:7 says, "Husbands,
likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to
the weaker vessel." Now at first glance we may think, "Was Paul a
chauvinist? Why would he say women were weaker than men." This is not
Paul's point at all. He is simply saying that men should treat women "as
if they were the weaker vessel" not that they "are the weaker
vessel." This simply has to do with the quality of protection. In
saying that a woman needs to be protected, it is not saying that she walks
around scared.
When it rains, although she may have 2 legs and an umbrella,
she needs to be protected from that rain, so a godly man pulls the car around,
even if it means he goes to the car without the umbrella and she uses it to
walk ten steps from the door to the car. When it snows, she should be protected
from the cold, so the godly man will get up and shovel the snow, so she is
protected in bed from the snow.
When a family has two cars, the man should sacrifice and
treat her as "the weaker vessel" and she should drive the more
dependable car. Did you see the end of Titanic? That was a great display of
protection. As he froze to death by hanging on to the edge of the raft, she was
protected because she was on top of the raft! When a Virtuous Woman is in the
arms of a godly man she will always feel protected.
7. Independent Man - This may sound academic to some,
but several marriages have been destroyed because of family loyalty superseding
the loyalty of a man to his wife. Genesis 2:24 says, "Therefore a man
shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall
become one flesh." Something we need to note about this verse is the fact
that at this time Adam and Eve didn't have any parents, so obviously this verse
is in the text to set a precedent of the way things should be throughout
history.
A woman does not wish to compete with a man's mother or
sister. A godly man loves his family, but understands that his loyalty, next to
God, is to his mate first. This portrait of a godly man gives the Virtuous
Woman a portrait that should never be compromised under any circumstance. A
godly man will have these qualities and many more, but these are pertinent to
the happiness and fulfillment of the Virtuous Woman. She cannot fully operate
as the Virtuous Woman with a mate who is selfish, proud, weak, lazy, out of
control, etc.
We, as men, should strive to possess these qualities and
many more and women should believe that they are worth spending the rest of
their lives with a man who is willing to love and cherish them the way Christ
loved the church. It is time for Virtuous Women to stop compromising and
settling and putting up with ungodly men. Women must take a stand AGAINST these
men.
Brothers, men, over the years have damaged the female psyche
beyond belief. It is only the hope of Christ through godly men that can repair
the damage that has been done. We are in debt to God and to our women to begin
to repair that which WE have broken down. It starts with becoming a godly man.
As women strive to become Proverbs 31 women, let us strive to become 1 Timothy
5:3 men which reads, "treat younger women as sisters, with absolute
purity." CF
Your comments are most welcome. Let me know your thought on this.
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